Thursday, March 1, 2012

Opening The Box ~ More Boxes?

I finally made the return call this week to Lori, Jim's assistant, letting her know the reason for my inquiry. I was calling about a 20 year old case.  I had initiated her return calls and yet had put off calling her back because I did not want to open the wounds.  But I made a promise that I would, so here goes. Why?  Because those who are still suffering are worth it.  I didn't have an instruction booklet, maybe these words will instill some sort of guidance to those who are suffering now, still, some 20 years later.

1975: Child Protection Law was mandated by the Federal government on October 1st.
1978: Jim represented my mother in her divorce proceedings.  Child Protection Law was an infant less than 3 years old. They made a decision in the quiet of his office that would hurl me onto the difficult path that I now know was my destiny.  
1992: Jim became my defense attorney.
2011: Late October and my realization - my extreme drift to a horrific low realizing they didn't do enough. What it meant when Jim said, 'I know who you are. You're the daughter!'
2012: Do I ask Jim if that's why he helped me? I think so. I know the answer.  And I learned early in life, don't ask a question, unless you really want to know the answer, that's a story for another night. But I need to ask... Not everyone gets a second chance to redeem themselves for being silent when action was required.

As I write these words and reflect on the 20 page Child Protection Law I'm reading in preparation for the road ahead, tears streaming, many years later, a case of unfathomable child sexual abuse is being documented and reported.