Saturday, April 7, 2012

My Scarlet Letter ~ Point of Nothingness!

As I sat pulling weeds and letting my mind wonder over the last few days, there are pin-points of recollection that parallel someone's life today. And not just one someone, many someones.  Boys and girls alike, violated and left confused and terribly damaged because a trusting person crosses the line. I'm outraged.  And I'm writing again.  I feel numb to the fact it is easier today for a perpetrator to escape punishment amid all child protection laws that have been passed to protect our children.
How quietly the problems surrounding incest are accepted by professionals and protectors alike.  This is a boulder versus hard place situation happening in today's society.  The awareness is splashed in our faces, but the true reality is that nothing has changed.  Incest occurs with fathers and step-fathers and daughters, as well as, mothers and step-mothers and sons.
Can I stand by any longer? I think NOT! The legality of abortion became possible in the Supreme Court case of 1973, Roe vs Wade.  And thus allowed my own father the opportunity to cover his wrongdoings.

I peered out the window in a daze.  I couldn't remember what day it was.  I had flashes from the last few days and many black spaces.  I was being taken home from a hospital in Alabama.  I faded in and out capturing only  the sunshine as it beat through the car window that day as a memory.
Now, as clearly as if it was today, I recall the doctor who sat at a distance in the corner of the examination room and asked me, 'who brought you here?'
'My father,' I whispered.
His eyes fell sad.
The subsequent seconds, minutes and days, years embodied holding the pain inside, unemotional to a fault. Numb to the point of nothingness, nobody-ness.  Blurred in a sense, just going through rote motions.  Existing. I was periled into silence by the treatment I received from those I trusted.

Isolation in a sea of emotional billions.

Weighing on one side or the other of Roe vs Wade is not what this is about.  Getting the Lid Off the horror of incest that enables such an act of violence to continue as rampant today as the day the bill passed is what I'm writing about!