Sunday, May 13, 2012

Survivor in Crisis ~ Reaching for Stars

I linger for some time in a room with rape victims, incest victims and sexual abuse survivors and can only ask myself the obvious ~ how do I help these?
Some regress and never return.  Their state of being is child-like because the trauma was (and possibly is still) so great. The only escape is silently and privately visiting a place where others who share common experiences come and go to help (or get help).
Amazingly, presence of another in an anonymous setting drives away the lonely, isolating feelings that transcend every day's being.  A short game of storytelling where by each who wants to participate submits one sentence to expand a storyline.  A pink puppy took the spotlight tonight.  I closed my eyes to envision the subject of our tale.
MPD is prevalent here and often brings me to tears. The strength to survive manifests itself with multiple personalities to protect part of self.  Powerful, in that the mind chooses to protect itself by sharing the burden of the event(s). 
Often drop-ins ask a quick question for some advice on how to handle a situation - one that is occurring at THIS precise moment is not uncommon.  Abuse is inflicted anytime, and everywhere.  Pedophiles are not gender specific.  How might I stand reading the texted messages that reveal the perpetrator is female this time, playing to the young man's prowess.  How does he say no?  And then he's left the room.

Rose said “He’s telling me that you will help thousands”.
As she prays over me, she asks God to bind evil from me,and  that my sleep become peaceful, and that she sees a future for me that will be easier than the past.
She raised me up in prayer which I did not expect pushing tears to the surface revealing an overwhelming joy and comfort in her words.
One real moment... a surreal reflection... lost for a couple of days... and now... a memory that drives me on. 

So again, the question, how do I help? By listening, and not turning a deaf ear (or in this case a blind eye) to the truths that are the shambled shells of life.  What is left of these souls to be reached?  And what, pray tell, will bring them to shine like the stars they were meant to be?  Pay attention to the details, listen, love and stand up for them and do not wait to be asked.  Someone you know is suffering today.  

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Survivor In Crisis ~ What To Do?

Knowing that someone else has experienced circumstances similar to those of my upbringing overwhelms me at the very least.  I speak of the repeated battery and sexual assaults that continued over many years.  I feel as if my heart has been ripped from it's cave and torn open having remembered my trauma listening to another speak of her own.   I reach out to support a victim in crisis and am reminded the cost of opening up.   Being taken advantage of.   I'm taking the risk.  No one single person or event can ever be as bad as what I have endured before.  The success of making it out alive amazes mostly me and reinforces the notion that we are here for a reason.

Therefore, let the qwest begin:  A "how to" for sexual abuse victims in crisis or on the verge of losing control.  

What does that mean?  
Hopefully, in some way I can help with those first days of seemingly endless insanity when your mind is so confused about everything.  During the first days of realization that everything you've ever known has been a lie and a relationship built on trust has been destroyed.  When you can't make sense of the last how every many years of your life.

That innocent pat on the butt, turned to a horribly wrong soft caress.  Barely recalling how those years were survived and slowly coming aware that what was happening is sickening and very sinister.
How had I believed that keeping the secret was better than having to live with him all the time, without my Mom being there some of the time?  How had I been manipulated to believe it would truly kill my granny if she ever discovered what her own son was doing to me?            

The initial question is, "are you starting to recognize the reality of your situation?"  Are you opening to the possibility and awakening to the realization that it could have happened?  Are you considering telling somebody (anybody) about what is going on?  

The first uttering brings REAL to your surreal.  I know you are immensely scared of the future, the consequences, the fallout.  All that needs to be done at this point, is to tell someone ~ someone you think can help.  

Or check out the drop menu links near the top of Get The Lid Off home page - these links connect you to resources that can help.  Give them a try!